Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize