i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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