Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
