Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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