Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize