i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm passing your future prison.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
