I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
