I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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