nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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