I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
