summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
