Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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