omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
