Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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