Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
