I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Me. At least after what I've been through.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
