from now on my penis is your penis
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just high enough for therapy.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
