he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
