Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
