i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
