I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Randomize
