she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
