I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
