YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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