Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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