I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
