Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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