Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You made out with two different species that night
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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