is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
