Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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