Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
