absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
