he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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