I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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