he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize