she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
