If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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