I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
