ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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