NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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