his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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