Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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