Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
