im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i believe in u and ur pee
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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