We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
