this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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