just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
