I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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