So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i think i just lost a toe
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize