I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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