Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
