she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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