Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
