i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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