no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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