You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
