I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
