Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
