He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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