I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
