My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
