Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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