I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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