I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
