She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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