If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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