Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
