why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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