It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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