i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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