Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
